Insecurities
by Too Many Obsessions to Choose
Summary: After seeing Kise with another beautiful girl, Kuroko Tetsuna starts feeling unsure of herself. Kise will have to rectify her thought process. Fem!Kuroko x Kise Established!Kiroko


**Insecurities **

_Summary: After seeing Kise with another beautiful girl, Kuroko Tetsuna starts feeling unsure of herself. Kise will have to rectify her thought process. Fem!Kuroko x Kise Established!Kiroko _

Kuroko Tetsuna was never one to care for her looks. With her overall weak presence, why should she? She wore her school uniform on a near daily basis, and whenever she was out of school, she wore modest, but decent clothing. She kept her powdered blue hair shoulder-length and neat.

Kuroko didn't wear any extra accessories, nor did she bother putting on any makeup. It's not like she had the money to pay for it anyway. Kuroko thought that she at least looked presentable. Paired with a blank exterior and a tendency to disappear from sight, Kuroko was, quite frankly, bland from an outsider's point of view. Said bland girl agreed.

Because she was so bland (and by all means invisible), Kuroko couldn't help but be a _little_ shocked when Kise Ryouta, Japan's most popular teen model and world renown basketball prodigy, asked her out on a date.

And, being Kuroko, she blatantly stated "No.", in a soft and quiet voice, and immediately turned away to the opposite direction before the baffled boy could react.

Kuroko often wondered why she rejected him in the first place. Who else would? It was Kise-freaking-Ryouta. If Kise Ryouta asked you on a date, chances are you'd immediately take up the offer. That is, if you are a typical, teenage girl that would agree to go on a date with any hot guy.

She was not one of those girls, obviously, and quite frankly she didn't know Kise that well. Kuroko couldn't recall a time where they had a civilized conversation-

Actually, she couldn't recall a time where they even _talked_ to each other.

How the heck did he even know her name? No one, besides the principle and a few staff members, even knew of her existence!

After such a harsh rejection, Kuroko thought that Kise would move on and forget about the strange, ghost-like girl that, once upon a time, rejected a date offer.

The pale-blue-eyed girl was proven wrong when he cornered her in an empty hallway the very next day. Said hallway lead up to the school roof, Kuroko's favourite eating area.

However, Kise did not ask her out again. He actually _apologized_ for being too "straightforward" the last time they met.

After Kuroko accepted his apology (although he didn't have to; It was her who was at fault in all brutal honesty), Kuroko apologized as well. Kise simply waved his hand in a dismissive matter, asking if he could join Kuroko on the roof. From that day he started calling her "Kurokocchi".

It had just occurred to Kuroko that she made a new friend.

As they spent more and more time together, Kuroko couldn't help but admire her handsome blond friend.

He was a part of their school's basketball club, and a former member of the "Generation of Miracles". He was very well-known for his flawless copycat abilities that always seemed to baffle spectators. Kise was the latest addition to the GOM, since he started basketball late in the second year of Teikou Middle School. However, that did not mean that Kise was the weakest player. In fact, none of the Miracles could be identified as "weak". Such a term was foreign to them.

He was also, as already mentioned, an extremely popular and successful model. Between school, modelling, and basketball, Kuroko found it amazing that he still managed to do well in class, passing with a flawless A+ for every subject on his report card.

It was strange how Kise still managed to find some time to spend with her.

Her innocent admiration soon turned into a crush. It was small, but every big phenomenon started small. She found herself blushing whenever Kise got a little too close (and Kise was definitely a person who had no clue what "personal space" meant, especially towards his friends), and her heart raced just a little faster whenever they locked eyes on each other. The walls Kuroko built so firmly around herself slowly broke down each time Kise flashed a smile at her; a small, genuine smile that was made only for _her_.

What had she done to receive such a beautiful smile anyway?

Several months after their meeting, Kise and Kuroko found themselves alone in the school library, on the ground, with Kise pinning Kuroko's small body to the ground. You see, Kuroko and Kise had been asked by the librarian to organize some books on the shelves; being the kind people that they were, they accepted the job.

There was one book that was out of place on the highest shelf, and as Kise was busy organizing a different pile of books at the side, Kuroko decided to get it herself. She propped the ladder on the shelves and began climbing the ladder. As she was about to reach the top, the ladder suddenly made an alarming creaking noise.

Before Kuroko had the chance to safely jump down, or perhaps steady herself, the ladder gave up on her. Kuroko couldn't stop the slight shriek from escaping her throat as she lost her footing on the ladder. She heard her name being called, but it was very faint. Kuroko closed her eyes tightly, awaiting the agonizing pain that was surely to come once she landed on the ground.

The impact never came.

Instead, she found herself being caught in a strong set of arms. She knew who those arms belonged to.

Kise. He saved her.

Unfortunately, right after Kuroko fell, so did the ladder. It smacked Kise roughly on the back, forcing him to fall forward from the collision.

They both fell unceremoniously on the ground, Kise's lean, but muscular body pinning Kuroko's small physique to the ground. Kise's face hovered a few centimetres away from her own, causing a light brush of red to dust upon both of their cheeks.

Kise moved, and Kuroko expected him to roll off of her, but he didn't. Instead, he slowly started combing Kuroko's pale blue locks, slender fingers gently fixing her messy hair from the ground. His other arm, which was fisted at the other side of her face, supported the rest of his upper body weight, cheerfully reminding Kuroko that he was very, very strong.

Suddenly, Kise leaned close to her ear, opening his mouth to say something. The red tint on Kuroko's pale face darkened.

"Kuroko Tetsuna, would you mind accompanying me on a date?"

Kuroko couldn't help but notice a couple of things.

Number 1: Kise used her full name.

That meant he was serious, and that this _wasn't_ something that she could brush off.

Number 2: The intamite position they were in when he asked her.

From the determined look on his face, it looked like Kise had wanted to ask her for quite a bit of time, although he didn't seem to have the courage to do so after the first time she blew him off. Apparently, the position they were in feuled Kise with all the courage he needed.

This time, Kuroko couldn't say no. She didn't even want to now. She bashfully looked at her chest, nodding once to give him her answer.

The way Kise cheered, kissed her cheek, and buried his face in Kuroko's chest was enough for a small smile to break out on her normally apathetic face.

It didn't occur to them that Kise's face was buried in a rather, ahem, _private area_ of Kuroko's chest until the librarian came back and angrily scolded them over PDA and "shameless couples nowadays." Needless to say, both teenagers became very flustered.

They went on several dates after that. Their first date was simply a movie at Kise's place. Although, considering the fact that Kise lived in a mansion, it seemed like a lot more than that.

When Kuroko questioned the absence of his parents, Kise sent her a strained, disarming smile and said, "They work overseas."

Kuroko didn't dare pry any further. The subject of his parents was probably just as uncomfortable as the subject of her own parents.

The rest of their date went off without a hitch. They watched a romantic comedy with rather dry humour, but neither teen minded. Kise spent most of the time gazing adoringly at Kuroko, and Kuroko focused on the milkshake Kise had made for her. Damn, Kise made really good milkshakes.

He never told her that the reason why he even bothered to learn how to make milkshakes was because of Kuroko's uncanny love for them.

The dates that followed the first one were just as lovely. Soon attraction turned into infatuation, which eventually evolved into something much, much more powerful; love. As cheesy as it sounded, Kuroko knew that she fell so completely and utterly in love with Kise Ryouta.

Just as he was with her.

Things never got that difficult until the third year of high school. At seventeen years old, Kise was in his prime. He was as attractive as ever; perhaps even more attractive than he had been two years ago.

Kise was requested for a ridiculous amount of photo shoots that lasted hours upon hours. His phone calls and texts became less frequent, and Kuroko barely saw him at school due to their differing class schedules.

Because a basketball tournament was coming up, no visitors were allowed in the gym where the players-where Kise-were/was practicing.

For the first month, Kuroko didn't really mind, although it did bug her a bit. She was mostly concerned for Kise's health. Was he sleeping enough? Is he still eating three meals a day? When was the last time he got a full cycle of sleep?

It was when the rumours started did things get really bad.

During the past month, Kise modelled with a fairly popular amateur model, Yuki Sakiyomi. She was a rising star in the modelling industries, although she never quite reached Kise's level. Due to their many intimate photos together, many fans speculated that they were dating. It was even spread throughout the news, and many of her classmates spoke about it.

"Uwahhh! Kise-kun and Yuki-sama look perfect together!" One of her classmates squealed one day. "Look at them! They look _so in love_! They're so lucky to have each other!" Her friend squealed along with her.

Kuroko's pale-blue-eyes had unknowingly dimmed.

She _knew_ worrying was incredibly stupid. She _knew_ for a fact that Kise would _never_ cheat on her, and that he was faithful to her.

"But why wouldn't he?" A voice from the back of her head spoke. "A main factor of the relationship is sexual attraction. You aren't appealing in any way, and you _know_ it. How could anyone not blame Kise for cheating on such a bland, pathetic girl? He is way out of your league any way. He should've broken up with you a long time ago."

The words that had been spoken, albeit mentally, rang in her head like a broken record. It slowly, but surely, snapped something deep within her heart; something dark and dangerous, especially to a normally strong-willed young girl.

She was becoming insecure, and dangerously so. Kise's continuous abscesses weren't helping much either.

Kuroko never looked twice at her appearance, but as she stood in front of a body length mirror in her room, she found herself criticizing every little "flaw" that she found upon her body.

She was short. She only reached up to Kise's chest when she stood next to her boyfriend. Sakiyomi-san was tall and slender. In fact, she was only a little shorter than Kise.

Her hair was okay, but not anything too impressive. It was shoulder-length, and not anything worth drooling over. Sakiyomi-san had beautiful, long luscious red hair. It reached to her ankles, something that Kuroko could never achieve.

She was pale, and strangely so. She looked like something akin to a ghost, which attributed to her overall transparent appearance. Sakiyomi-san had rich, tanned skin. Her tanned skin made her stand out even more amongst a crowd.

Her eyes were too big. One might call them pretty, but the completely blank expression they held said otherwise.

Sakiyomi-san's eyes were almond-shaped and seductive looking. Moreover, they were _expressive_.

She was too skinny. One might say that she resembled a porcelain doll, due to how small and fragile looking she was. She barely weighed a feather, and Kuroko was fairly sure that she was underweight compared to most girls her age. Sakiyomi-san had a perfect hourglass figure. She was the perfect weight, and her beautiful physique was definitely not something to laugh at.

As she stared at her reflection for one last time, she sighed dejectedly.

She was plain.

She was invisible.

She was _inferior_.

Sakiyomi-san was anything but.

Kuroko abruptly turned away from the mirror, trying to wish away the ugly feeling that churned in the pit of her stomach.

"Kise-kun." She muttered softly, holding a hand to her face. She tried in vain to stop the tears that were already forming.

"I wonder when you'll wake up and finally leave me."

LINEBREAK

*Ring*

*Ring*

*Ring*

"Hello?" Kise's voice echoed from the phone.

"Kise-kun." Kuroko greeted, with a slight tremor to the tone of her voice.

"Kurokocchi! What's up? Do you need anything? I'm at home right now, my manager FINALLY let me go! Do you want to come over?" The excited tone in his voice made her heart ache painfully. She hadn't been in his house for months now.

"I... need to talk to you." Kuroko said carefully. "I'll come in twenty minutes." She hung up the phone, not even bothering to wait for a reply. Her voice was on the verge of cracking.

Kuroko dressed in an oversized creme sweater, a dark brown skirt, and black leggings. She slipped on - a pair of dark brown boots and grabbed the house keys from the counter.

"I'm coming." She muttered.

"Please forgive me, Kise-kun."

LINEBREAK

With Kuroko coming over, Kise anticipated a day of watching movies and cuddling on the couch. He missed his girlfriend very much. It's been months since he had the chance to see her face to face, and Kise was dying from their lack of touch. Kise didn't think that he could've handled it for any longer. If he hadn't begged his manager for a day off, then he would have never gotten to see Kuroko until the holidays.

That was simply something that he wouldn't stand for. As much as he loved modelling, Kise would rather spend time with Kuroko. Kuroko was a blessing in his bleak life. Huh. No one would ever expect Kise Ryouta to say that his life was bleak. He had the "perfect life" some would say. He had the looks, the money, and the girls; what wasn't there to like?

_Everything_. He decided. All Kise truly wanted was for happiness, and he never seemed to get that. Due to the absence of his parents, Kise grew up much more wiser (and bitter) than his fellow classmates. Money couldn't buy happiness, and neither could his looks. The only time he truly felt content in his life was when he played basketball, but that was only for a short moment of his life. What about when he grew older and moved on from basketball? What then?

Kise pretty much gave up hope on the species known as women. They were all the same, only wanting him for his looks, fame, and money. Just as he decided that he would never get a proper girlfriend, Kuroko appeared in his life.

And he was _stunned_.

He spotted her one day while heading to class. She was navigating herself through the crowd of students with ease, save for a couple of pushes and shoves that were impossible to avoid. She was completely focused on her little black book, unaware of what was happening around her. With keen eyes, Kise couldn't help but notice something rather peculiar.

The students weren't looking at her per se; they were looking right _through_ her, as if she wasn't even there.

And that bothered Kise quite a bit. How was it possible to be completely unaware of another's existence?

It soon became a daily habit to watch her. Some may have described his attitude as stalker-ish, but he couldn't care less. She was interesting; a puzzle that was begging to be solved. The fact that she was cute was a bonus.

After a few days of strained hearing, Kise learned that the mysterious girl's name was Kuroko Tetsuna. What a cute name. Kise found himself itching to introduce himself to the girl, just so he could hear what her voice sounded like.

Eventually, he did introduce himself.

By asking her out on a date.

But he couldn't help it! The way she stared at him as he was about to speak; the shock in her eyes upon knowing that someone noticed her. His mind went blank for a second, and to avoid an awkward silence, he blurted out the first thing that came in his mind.

And look how _that_ worked out.

It hurt even more when she rejected him, although he fully understood. He did look like a complete idiot. A bumbling buffoon really.

The next day, Kise just had to say something to her to make up for the idiotic thing he said on the previous day. And so he cornered her in an empty hallway, sincerely apologizing to her for being too straightforward. In other words, for being a complete idiot. Kuroko apologized for her own harsh rejection, but Kise waved it off. What was that saying again? What's passed is the past?

And so started a beautiful friendship, which (after several months of secret glances and brief touches) soon turned into a much more intimate relationship, due to that whole library fiasco.

Just as Kise was about to delve deeper into his thoughts, the door bell rang. He jumped from his seat on the couch, nearly sprinting towards the door. What? Was it a crime to be a little happy?

He slammed the door open, and was about to cheerfully greet his beloved girlfriend when he noticed the downcast expression on her face. He didn't glomp her like he normally did, because it seemed that Kuroko was trying her best to make as much distance as possible between them.

Kise narrowed his eyes in concern.

"Kurokocchi?"

Kuroko reached for his hand, and whispered hoarsely. "We need to talk."

Kise tightened his hold on Kuroko's hand. He was worried, but he decided not to say anything as he lead Kuroko up to his room.

They stood in the room, Kuroko leaning against the wall and Kise standing across from her. There was a buzz of silence for a couple of moments.

"What did you want to talk about?" Kise inquired, trying to shake off the concern in his voice. When Kuroko averted her gaze, Kise panicked a little. Kuroko _always_ met his eyes whenever they spoke to each other. Something really bad must've happened to make her avoid eye contact.

"Kise, I-" Kuroko paused, like she was trying to recollect her thoughts. She took a deep breath and spoke clearly.

"I think we should break up."

Silence. A pin could be heard dropping in the distance.

When Kise processed his girlfriend's words, his mind went blank. There was a pause, then-

"W-why?" He had so many things on his mind to say to her, but his mouth wasn't responding. He was frozen from eery shock.

"It's not your fault." Kuroko said firmly, despite the fact that her voice was trembling. "I just... Well..." She inhaled a shuddering breath.

"I'm saving you from the effort."

"What?" Now Kise was confused. What on earth was she talking about?

Kuroko heaved a breath once more. Her legs were shaking in anxiety, and her palms were clammy. She said the first thing that came to her mind; something that she rarely did as she thought out almost everything she did. Everything but this.

"I'm saving you from the effort when you break up with me." Kuroko whispered, gazing at the ground.

Kise sputtered, eyes widening. "Why the _hell_ would I break up with you?" He asked. Kuroko said nothing for a few seconds before opening up her mouth. Tears welled up in her eyes as she started speaking.

"Why are you dating me? Why me? Why aren't you dating someone like Sakiyomi-san? Why are you with someone as plain and bland looking as me? I'm not beautiful. I'm invisible. I can't make you happy in the long run. Not when there are so many other people out there that-"

She was cut off when she was slammed into the wall, arms on either side of her face, pinning her on the wall. Kise's head was bowed, expression completely unreadable.

"Don't you DARE finish that sentence Tetsuna!" He growled, finally looking up. Kuroko's eyes widened at his expression. His body shook from what could only be identified as anger, his jaw was tensed uneasily, his eyebrows were furrowed almost dangerously, and his handsome face was marred by a dark frown. Kuroko shivered at the sight.

Kise forced himself to calm down when he saw that Kuroko was scared. He took a deep breath and spoke.

"Don't compare yourself to those other women. In fact, they are nothing compared to you. You're beautiful, incredibly so. I love your blue hair-" He kissed the top of her head. "-Your brilliant blue eyes-" He gently kissed the top of both eye lids. "-Your skin-"He gently stroked her cheeks. "-your diminutive height" He pokes her forehead at this. "-and your small body. In fact, it makes me want to protect you more." He placed his large hands on her shoulders at this, leaning down to gently kiss her neck. He stopped when he heard her moan slightly. He needed to continue his point after all.

"You're a blessing in my bleak life. I was so hopeless once, Tetsuna, but you came in my life, punching sense into my brain. You taught me that winning isn't everything. That's something that's been a part of me for years, and yet you broke it out of me with a few sentences. If you think that I don't deserve you, then you must've bumped your head. If anything _I_ don't deserve _you_. Please, don't leave me. I'm nothing without you. You're a goddess to me Tetsuna. I'm just a lowly mortal who'll love you eternally." He finished, staring at her with pure love burning in his eyes. Kuroko's breath hitched.

"Kise..." She wrapped her slender arms around Kise's neck, burying her face in his chest. "Thank you..." She muttered, and Kise smiled.

"I love you." He whispered firmly. He kissed her chastely on the lips. When they separated, Kuroko looked at him almost dazedly, a light blush on her cheeks.

"I love you too, Kise."

The rest was history.

**A/N: So when I first uploaded this fanfic, I didn't edit anything. It was my first draft actually. So when I did get back to editing it, I couldn't help but cringe at my writing. I heavily revised it if you hadn't noticed. I hope this version will appeal to you much more than the first one did.**

THANKS FOR READING!


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